Whisper Softly So As To Leave Me Undisturbed
by the Unrequited Lover
Summary: Lilin Si'lat was once a Guardian. Perhaps that is why she is so sickly, and misses the investiture of Kurda...lucky her. For she once loved him greatly...this is her story, as she tells to Darren. Spoilers only for Prince.
1. A Guardian!

_"Should we wake her?" Voices asked in whispers as I went past, looking at the fragile frame laying beneath the sheet._

_"Perhaps it would be kinder not to," another said uneasily, and then I left._

I did not give that memory much of a thought until after I became a Prince. It had, naturally, held my attention for a moment, as there were not many vampira in Vampire Mountain, but who was I to care? Arra Sails, Mr. Crepsley's favourite one of all, was dead. She was my favourite, too, for that matter, and I was still in mourning.

And then there was Kurda. I could not think about a still figure in an unforgettable and incomprehensible sleep when there was still the thought of him being a traitor. So for that small moment, I did not give it a thought. His trial was horrible, and afterwards I was partly glad I had attended, but mostly I wished I had stayed behind.

I would never have thought anyone would have wanted to hear the words he said.

Then I became a Vampire Prince, and was far more free to wonder about such things.

_"Gently; make sure she doesn't choke on it," said on of the vampires cautiously as they poured liquid down her throat. The other snorted in scorn._

_"Yes, the last time that happened it was even worse and she choked on it and had to be revived a different way."_

_"Who is she?" I asked Mr. Crepsley._

_He cleared his throat noisily and answered, "Her name is unimportant."_

_"Really?" I peered at the figure in confusion. She didn't even seem that much older than I, a teenaged half vampire. I couldn't help but notise the raggedy clothes she wore and her fatigued appearance. Her pale hair was thin and scraggly and she was scandalously thin._

_"She looked like a Guardian of the Blood," I remarked and Mr. Crepsley paled a bit._

_I narrowed my eyes at him suspciously but was interrupted by the sound of harsh gasping sound from behind me._

_We turned to stare at the vampiress in the hospital bed. She was coughing violently, blood spotting the white sheets._

_"She's up!" cried one of the vampires. The vampiress glanced around at everyone in faint surprise and bewilderment. Her eyes were strangely pale, and I had never seen anyone but a Guardian look like that._

_"You may not want to be in here, Sire," chuckled one of the vampires softly. "She may not like your being a Prince."_

_I didn't understand and tried to ask a question, but Mr. Crepsley began leading me away with one of his looks. I nodded and realised it would be better to ask later._

_The vampire heard me. "Sire?" she repeated, then said happily, "Oh, don't be silly, Kurda!" I understood then; she had been in the hospital for so long that she didn't know that Kurda had become a traitor and had been executed in the Hall of Death._

_"Er...." one of the vampires looked uneasily at her and then his partenr. "The new Prince has a very busy life. He can't talk to you now."_

_"Oh," she said, disappointed. I wondered how well she and Kurda had known eachother._

_Before she could see that I, however, was not Kurda, Mr Crepsley led me out of the Hall quickly. Behind me, I heard the vampiress angrily protest at her being kept asleep through the investiture of Kurda. The other vampires were decidedly dodging the questions._

I sat with Venez, going over the strategies of war that he was teaching me (as there may be war soon enough) when a lanky figure dashed over to us.

"Venez!" she said, and then looked sad and frustrated. "You said that you'd say hello to me when you saw me, and you're only half bli-"

She gasped. Venez had turned his face to her.

"But- you- the lion- when- how?" She breathed, stumbling back. I leaned over and whispered to Harkat, the Little Person, "She still looks like a Guardian."

Harkat nodded. "Mr. Crepsley never...denied that she was."

I frowned. He hadn't.

Venez sighed. "Lil, look," he said, "I just got into a fight in the gaming hall and well, you know."

I wondered why they lied to her.

'Lil' nodded sympathetically. "Well, er...." she looked around, confused. She saw me and blinked, confused.

"Who are you?"

I opened my mouth to speak, and Venez said quickly, "That's Darren Shan, Larten's new assistant."

The vampiress's eyes narrowed. "Larten's back?" she said softly with disdain. I didn't like her. "How fortunate for us all."

Venez sighed again. "Well, you were asleep for a while, and.."

"Why did they keep me like that for so long?!" she shouted. "They have had the antidote for a while, long enough for me to have been to Kurda's investiture!"

Venez shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Oh, for God's sake!" She stormed away. As she exited the hall, we heard her yell behind her, "_Kurda_ will tell me what's going on!"

As the echoes of her voice rang in my ears, Harkat said slowly, "No, Kurda...won't."

"Mr. Crepsley?" I asked, lying in my hammock. He looked up with a frown from the book he was reading.

"Yes, Sire?" he said, a tired smile on his face. He grew somber when he notised my expression.

"Who was that girl that was asleep in the hospital?" I asked. "Venez and I saw her today- well, I did, anyway. She didn't know very much about what was going on." I remarked.

Mr. Crepsley's face grew dark. "That," he spat, "was Lilin Si'lat."

There was a silence as he thought about what to say next.

"She is a weak vampire," he continued, and I knew immediately why the others would regard her with scorn. Weak vampires were not wanted in the Clan.

"Then why is she still alive?" I asked, sitting up.

"Kurda," he said simply, and I grew much quieter. Kurda always went to help the outsiders, it seemed, and he had not belived in killing of the less capable vampires, because even if they wern't physically fit, they may be very clever.

"Were they close?"

"Not at first. He was as uneasy around her as the rest of us were."

"Why would you feel -?"

He sighed again. "You have already made the observation that she looks like one of the Guardians," he said quietly. "This is because she was once one of them."

I gasped. "A blooded Guardian?" The blood of vampires was supposedly taboo for the Guardians.

Mr. Crepsley nodded. "She is chronically ill and she does not enjoy fighting."

"Why don't you like her?"

He lowered his eyes. "I did not say that I disliked her."

I cleared my throat and he turned towards me. I could tell I was about to get the explanation I wanted.

"There are more female vampires than you see. Arra was the only one you met. The rest are not like her in nature, but they also are content being in the background. Lilin Si'lat is not like that. She is hard to not see, as is Arra, but it is not wise of her to bring attention to herself. She and I are not close because she and Arra were even more distant."

A faint smile appeared on his face as he thought of Arra.

"So, you don't like her because Arra didn't like her?"

He shook his head, still smiling. "She is not a very respectable vampire. She must drink the blood of humans, and in the Mountain the blood of the Guardians is all we have. It is almost cannibalistic."

I nodded, nose wrinkled.

"Who blooded a Guardian, anyway?" I asked, shaking my head.

"It was a while ago. He is dead," Mr. Crepsley said simply. "But it is mostly her fault for accepting the offer. She wasn't supposed to be blooded, you know. She was rather young at the time- not as young as you are, but still, it was considered unacceptable."

"Did she have the Trials of Initiation?" I asked.

He shook his head. "She is not capable."

I was baffled by how easily he said that about another vampire.

"How'd she and Kurda meet?" I asked quickly, wanted to talk about something else.

Mr. Crepsley chuckled. "It is a long story," he said, eyes twinkling.

"I have time," I urged. But he shook his head.

"Perhaps another day,' he said, rising from his seat. "Or you could ask her."

I thought about it. It wasn't such a bad idea, actually.

"Excuse me...." It was odd that I would have found her in the Hall of Death. I didn't feel like looking at those stakes.

"Yes, Darren Shan?" she asked. "I remembered your name," she added, proudly.

"Er..." I began uncomfortably. "Well, why are you in the Hall of Death?"

"That's a funny question," she said, smiling. "Why do you ask?"

"It's not exactly normal to sit here alone," I pressed.

"I did it all the time before I was blooded," she said. I shuddered.

"What?" she asked, curious.

"Well...aren't you uncomfortable drinking the blood of the Guardians when you yourself were once a Guardian?"

She laughed. "I am as uncomfortable as you are with drinking the blood of humans outside Vampire Mountain," she said.

It made sense, but I still didn't like it.

"Why'd you become a vampire?" I asked. "I mean, I thought that Guardians looked down on the thought of becoming vampires."

"I have always been different," she said lightly. "You know, I...I had a good reason."

"Did you?" I asked.

"I had a very good reason," she said. "You might find it interesting."

"Can we not talk about it her, though?" I begged. She looked towards the stakes and laughed.

"All right, Darren Shan," she said, standing. "If you insist." She walked briskly out of the room. I notised how she like the colours black and violet.

"We can go to my cell and I'll tell you my story." She called, and I sped after her.


	2. As A Young Child

As a young child, I was fascinated by vampires, and mimicked everything they did, trying to learn their language. It took me many years, but I succeeded, and once got into trouble with my mother while spying on a group of vampires, copying their accent, repeating everything they said. My mother just didn't understand. She thought my desire to learn their ways unhealthy.

But I once saw them kill. I had been confused when vampires entered the Hall of Death, where I had never seen them go. I hid behind a rock, watching in fear and curiosity. It was a mad vampire, and I watched what they did. You know what I speak of, Darren- please do not make me explain it.

I ran home horrified and weeping, unable to repeat the details to my sister or mother, just terrified. My mother told me that was why I shouldn't talk to vampires or anything.

I took those words to heart. I vowed to never associate with them, despite my keen interest. They were too dangerous, not worth losing my family for. But as you can see, I broke that vow. I broke it when I was about fifteen.

I was in the Hall of Cremation, pounding bones of a vampire into dust to be scattered to the winds, talking with my sister, when I heard a pair of vampires laughing, one young, one old. I glanced up briefly. Or rather, I meant to see merely what it was they looked like, nothing more. Things happened a little differently...

The older of the two had brown hair specked with grey, he was dressed simply. I looked at the other. He was so.....I don't know what, exactly, caught my interest that day, but whatever he was, he absorbed my attention entirely, so that I stood gazing at him, pounding the dust into even finer dust.

He had blonde hair, not exactly long, but long enough to put into a ponytail. He had captivating blue eyes, and like anyone you are intrigued by, I wanted to look at them a little longer, but I didn't dare. I stared at him, my eyes flickering over his laughing face, his cheekbones, and his slender frame. His callused hands held a scrap of parchment and a quill dipped in ink, dripping, unbeknownst to him. I unconsciously leaned forward to read what he had written, but my sister harshly called me back and I was started out of my daze.

He and his mentor were startled, too; they stopped laughing and stared after us wonderingly, and my sister tugged at my arm and pulled me out of there.

You know of whom I speak, Darren Shan. I'm obviously talking about Kurda Smahlt.

I didn't know who Kurda was at the time, but I was fascinated, following him around during my spare time. I thoroughly enjoyed his presence, even when he did not know he was sharing it with me. He had a tendency to talk out loud to himself, voicing his thoughts, opinions, and theories. He was a delight to listen to, and I had never met- well, not that I had met him- a vampire quite like him.

I had taken up my studies of the language English once more, and the knowledge had rushed back to me quickly. I knew I could have conversed with a vampire if I had had the chance.

Of course, Darren, that chance came to me, although it was all quite by accident.

I continued to mimic vampires, but now I had a little notebook with my own- don't laugh- maps. I wasn't that fond of cartography, but a map was a beautiful thing to behold and besides, if Kurda created them, then they were a wonderful thing. I followed him even more, especially when he was alone, to see how one made maps.

I'm sure Kurda had seen me a few times, but I didn't give it a thought until one day when I overheard him and his mentor talking...

"Nemo," Kurda said suddenly. I leaned in from where I sat in one of the many halls. Luckily I was the only one from my family there, and naturally no one, no Guardians or vampires, were paying attention to me.

"Yes?" asked the older vampire.

"There's this one Guardian that I keep seeing," he said, frowning. I still didn't make any connections; I just got excited that he was talking about my race.

Nemo grew somber. "What do you mean?"

Kurda sighed and put his maps down. "A Guardian," he repeated. "When I'm down recording things for my maps. I've seen her-"

"Her?" Nemo interrupted. "A female Guardian? How old is she?"

Kurda shrugged sheepishly. "About fifteen or so, somewhere around there. I'm sure it's the same one. At first, I would stare at her, but I think that discouraged her. So I've been looking for her whenever I can. I've seen her- she watches what I do and I don't think she knows I know."

"What would she want to watch you for?" Nemo laughed. I was a little suspicious, this story sounded oddly familiar...

"I think she's interested in my maps, but I've seen her looking even when I'm not sketching-"

I gasped out loud and dropped what I was carrying with a clang. Kurda looked up, alarmed, and our eyes met. I was so afraid- I won't lie- because some of the others were furious with me and I knew that if they knew why I'd done it I'd be in even more trouble. I was most frightened of Kurda and Nemo, though- Id been found out!

"Is that her?" Nemo asked, looking at me. I took a step away involuntarily.

"Yes. Yes, it is. I can't believe I didn't notise her before," Kurda said. I looked away and picked up what I'd dropped. I had to act like I didn't understand what they were saying.

"Get her. We have to find out why she's doing it." I heard Nemo say. I was so scared.

"She can't talk, Nemo. Well, she can, but not English."

"You don't know that, Kurda," Nemo said earnestly. "Come on- you can catch her, you can, I know you can-"

"No...okay. I'll get her."

I wasn't' about to pretend after hearing that. I dropped it again- this time deliberately- and fled, ignoring the angry shouts of the others. I could hear them following me, and I tried to run more quickly.

I ran into my hiding space, aware of the fact that they wouldn't catch me unless I came out.

I heard Kurda stop- he was alone- outside of my little crevice in the rock. I squirmed, but I knew he couldn't see me.

Then I heard him rustling through papers and my heart stopped; he was looking through my maps. Oh, gods.

I wriggled out and ran at him for my papers. He dropped them and held my wrists hard.

"Who did these?" he demanded, gesturing to the fallen sheets. I cried out and struggled. I would not speak.

"Who did these?!" he repeated, but I stomped on his foot and scooped them up, then began running again. I knew he'd be able to follow this time.

Sure enough, I soon felt him seize my arms. I spun around to push him away, dropping my notebook, but he grabbed my shoulders roughly and forced me down- no doubt to keep me from escaping. There was no cruelty in what he did, but I felt as though the end was coming.

My back was bruised as my body scraped against the stone wall behind us two, and Kurda's own body lurched forward and he fell onto me.

"Who- what- how—" he said hopelessly, and fell silent. We were both quiet, only the sounds of our shallow breathing present in the air.

"How do you understand me?" he said finally, sitting back. I fretted under the weight of him and the rocks digging into my flesh, but he paid no heed.

Finally, I gave in, and in broken English replied, "I understand you because I speak the languages English."

He gasped in surprise, but then grew serious once more. "Right. Who are you?"

I fought to sit up and get away, but he put his hands on my arms and forced me to stay beneath him.

He was relentless. I finally shrieked, "Lilin Si'lat!"

He nodded, then stood and pulled me up. I stood unsurely, trembling, and he said, "Why do you follow me?"

"I wanted to make maps."

He stared at me, as though wondering if he believed me or not. Finally he said, "Is that it?"

I faltered and he knelt down before me, holding my bleeding hands in his. "Come one. Why have you been watching me?" he pleaded urgently.

I shuddered. Suddenly, an out-of-breath Nemo came around the corner. His eyes widened at the sight of us and Kurda stood briskly and tugged at my hands.

"She speaks and understands English," he explained. "We should take her to the Vampire Princes."

My eyes open and shining in terror, I followed him wordlessly into the heart of Vampire Mountain.


	3. Trouble in Dreams

_Disclaimer: Only Darren Shan owns Kurda, but he obviously doesn't deserve him since he killed him off. Love Psychedelico and I would be better suited to him. _

_Love Psychedelico- you say you "love Kurda, obviously"- well, so do I, obviously. And I would love to be a staff member of your C2 Community, sure you can add the story! Kurda lovers everywhere unite! I love your stories, though I can't see him with anyone who's like Arra. _

The trek onwards to the vampire princes was terribly humiliating. Kurda led me on and my head drooped. Nemo did not seem to care who saw me, and luckily no Guardians were around to witness my shame, but the staring vampires who went over to look at me were enough.

Finally, although it seemed to take forever, Kurda stopped. I had not known where we were, but I was frightened.

I listened as Nemo explained the situation. I would have been indignant- he mentioned how an unstable teenaged Guardian had been stalking Kurda- but I was too scared to be. Finally, a prince- Sire Paris, by the way- said, "I understand you, Nemo, but I'm afraid that nothing can be done- none of the Guardians can even communicate with us."

"This one can," Nemo replied gravely. "She speaks English."

A wave of whispers swept over the Hall. Paris spoke up, sounding troubled. "Would you mind if we asked her about the situation?"

"Not at all, Sire." Nemo stepped down and there was a short silence. He whispered something to Kurda, who looked at me.

"They're going to ask you about this," he said, even though I had heard what they said. "Don't be afraid. No one is going to hurt you."

He seemed surer of that than I ever was. He led over to the platform so that I could speak.

"Her name is Lilin," he said, then stepped away.

I could feel them watch me, and I felt so very small. Paris said, kindly, I might add, "You have been accused of stalking a vampire by the name of Kurda Smahlt. Tell me..is this the truth?"

I thought it over. I knew I could reply. "No," I said, sounding more like a child than a girl of my age.

"You have not been following him around, then?" Paris continued, looking at Nemo with a faint frown.

"No…well, yes. I have seen him, and.." I trailed off, frustrated. "I don't understand."

Paris nodded. "You mean, it is hard for you to word what you are trying to say?"

"Yes..I- I think."

"Have you been following him?"

"Yes." There were more whispers and I wanted to run away, but I didn't dare to.

"Why have you done this?"

"Because-" I stopped. "I don't know."

"Does anyone else know?"

I shook my head. Paris scratched his chin thoughtfully. "well, there isn't anything we can do about this," he said finally. "As a Guardian, you are beyond our laws…" He stopped uncomfortably.

"Until we have decided what to do with you, you shall stay with us."

My head spun around and I stared, wide-eyed, at Nemo, who smiled sort of grudgingly.

"Where?" I rasped.

"With Kurda and Nemo, naturally."

I looked over at Kurda and nodded, fear in my haunted eyes. He met my gaze as though unsure of what to do or say, and nodded with the same acceptance that I had registered.

_-later that night-_

"You sleep here," Kurda told me. He had gotten ready for sleep quickly, as he'd only unbuttoned his shirt. I sat down on the cot cautiously and looked up at him, staring at the milky white skin of his chest for a moment before I looked into his eyes. "I'm sorry," I said, my throat dry. He sighed and sat beside me.

"It's all right," he said, and offered me a smile. I looked down at the ground, and heard him breathing beside me, then felt his hand touch my face gently. Startled, my eyes flew to his. His fingertips brushed my cheekbone, his palm resting against my chin, cupping my face.

"It's strange," he said quietly. "Why did you follow me like you did?" He moved the hand down to my neck and I lifted my own hand to touch it, sliding my finger along his knuckles in amazement. I had always been so curious about everything in the world, and to me he seemed to represent that very world I was so in awe of. I wanted to explore, to experiment, not to live in the shadows of the world in the Mountain. But if I had to live in the shadow, why not experiment anyway?

"I wanted to learn," I replied, surprised at how the answer came to my lips so easily.

He moved his hand to rest on my shoulder and I moved mine to his wrist, running my hand along his smooth skin, then up his arm with its fair hair. I let my hand rest there.

He cleared his throat, looking down at my hand, and said, "Would you like me to teach you something?"

"Yes." I answered without thought. He let go of my shoulder and I put my hands in my lap.

"What would you like me to teach you?" he asked, meeting my eyes awkwardly.

"Everything…"

He smiled a bit. "I can't teach you what I don't know."

"We could just make things up as we go along, and you could show me how?" I suggested, not knowing how that sounded in English. He looked a bit alarmed at that, and blushed.

I frowned. "That is…wait….oh, I don't know…"

He stared, then shook his head with a smile and stood. "Well, here you go," he said laughingly, then climbed into his coffin. I watched him close it, and then I shrugged and tried to sleep.

In the middle of the night, I woke with nightmares and got out of the cot, then made my way over to his coffin. I didn't know where Nemo was, but he didn't seem to be in the room. I knocked on the wood.

"Wh- what?" he said sleepily, his voice muffled by the wood, then opened the coffin's top and sat up.

"Oh…what?" he asked me, stifling a yawn. I felt suddenly ridiculous.

"I…that is…oh." I fell silent.

"Couldn't sleep?"

"I slept, but I…saw things…I…" I wasn't sure of what I saw.

"Dreams?"

I shook my head. I had dreamt before of- well, of him, but that wasn't bad.

"Nightmares? I mean, bad dreams?" he asked me. I hesitated, unsure of the meaning.

"Scary things in dreams," he clarified. I nodded my head furiously.

"Hmm…" he said, knowingly. "And you wanted company, so you woke me up."

I felt sheepish until I heard him laughing. He climbed out of the coffin and sat on the cot. "Well, aren't you coming?"

I nodded wordlessly and sat down. "I'll watch over you while you sleep," he promised me, and sat beside me, gently pushing my torso down, then pulled the blanket up over me.

"Now go to sleep," he said. "I promise that I'll be here when you wake up in the morning." I shut my eyes and listened for him to leave. He didn't. I finally, still unsure, allowed myself to relax and soon I was, indeed, asleep.

"Lilin," I heard Kurda say, shaking me awake. "Wake up. You're dreaming again."

I whimpered in fright, then opened my eyes and was greeted by his blue ones.

"Did I wake you?" I asked.

"I was already awake," he said, laughing in relief. "I told you I'd stay with you, didn't I?"

I nodded, and he petted my head, my hair lank with sweat from my dreams.

"Now, you were able to sleep the first time," he went on. Can you now?"

I shook my head and he petted my hair again. "I'm sure you can."

"I'm afraid." He held me closer to him and I leaned against his slender chest, clinging to the thin material of his shirt that was damp with perspiration.

Soon his breathing regulated,and I sat and looked at his face, brushing away hair from his eyes. His long, pale eyelashes cast a weak shadow on his angelic face, his lips were parted slightly in dreams, and I smiled at him. Then I lay back down and found myself able to sleep again.


End file.
